For years, my husband and I wanted to do couples devotions but we had no idea how to make it happen.
Once we found some good couples devotionals (and read a few couples bible studies together) we knew that we couldn’t make couples devotional time a “someday” item.
We needed to spend time together in the Bible as a couple right now–when we were in the thick of the exhilarating-but-exhausting parenting and career-building years. We needed to regularly invest in our marriage.
But we wondered how it was possible to have regular couples devotions with our crazy, always-changing family schedule. Sound familiar?
After nearly 17 years of marriage, we’ve found a few essential tricks for making couples devotions a regular part of our marriage.
And in this post I want to share with you what we’ve learned so that you and your spouse can enjoy regular couples devotions too!
Our couples Bible time became habitual (and powerful) when we finally said—with humble, teachable hearts—“Jesus, we know you want us to be spending time with you together on a daily basis. Show us how to do this within our crazy life.”
This meant that we didn’t commit ourselves to following a strict regimen.
Or to never missing a day. Or to only doing couples devotions at a specific time of day.
We’ve kept our couples devotions time open and yet still kept it a priority, continually asking God for wisdom on how to make each day work.
Instead of locking ourselves into a schedule–and tacking on all that guilt when the schedule would fail–we simply kept it a priority and sought creative ways to make it happen within that season.
7 Tips for Making Couples Daily Devotions a Habit
My husband and I have developed some simple guidelines for maintaining regular couples devotions. Again, these aren’t a list of “shoulds” and “musts” but mindsets.
We pray that these ideas might make regular devotional times a reality for you and your spouse, too!
1) First, forgive each other and start new. Maybe your couples Bible devotions have been hit-or-miss, or simply non-existent. This may have caused all kinds of built-up guilt and shame. Talk openly with each other, and pledge to start together from a new fresh place.
2) Determine What You’ll Study. Couples devotions doesn’t have to be fancy! Sometimes we’ve read a chapter of Proverbs each day and then prayed. Other times we’ve gone through a devotional and then looked up additional verses. There’s no right or wrong answers here as long as God’s Word and prayer play a major part of the time.
Curious what our favorite couples Bible study resources are?
3) Keep It Private and Close the Door. Closing the door keeps us focused on each other and on God during couples devotions. This also models for our kids that time together in the Word is a private and important part of marriage (and they know not to come in if the door is shut).
4) Be Creative in Your Execution. We’ve found that mornings are best for us most days. But my husband travels quite a bit, so we’ve been known to get our devotional time late at night in via phone or even FaceTime.
I love how couples devotionals make it easy to guide the conversations… especially when one of you is traveling (or, let’s face it–tired!).
5) Keep It Realistic and Full of Grace. Maybe it’s an especially tough season and couples devotions one day a week is all you can commit to right now. Great! One day a week is better than no days a week. Just make couples devotions a priority in your marriage.
6) Jump Back on the Wagon When You Fall Off Track. Despite your planning and best efforts, there will be seasons that couples Bible time just won’t happen. We get sick. Emergencies happen. Or we just plain forget (oops!). The point is, if you skip a day (or two, or five), forgive yourselves and re-start the couples Bible devotions habit. It’s really OK!
7) Commit to Daily Couples Devotions for at Least a Month. Try it for 30 days and see how your marriage changes! Once my husband and I had enjoyed a regular couples devotional time, we were that much more compelled to keep up the habit. It became less of a chore and more of a delight.