Connection–real, heartfelt connection–is what most of us crave in marriage.
And yet, the everyday hustle of family life can easily squeeze out that much-needed connection time.
How are we supposed to maintain a strong marriage when our days are overloaded with well-intended activities?
I’m convinced it doesn’t take a lot. In fact, I know that one intentional habit has kept our marriage thriving even in the busiest seasons.
It’s not much. Just 15 minutes, once a day.
But it has made a world of difference. (I know this to be true because our relationship seems “off-kilter” somehow when we let this habit slide.)
Here’s a glimpse into this incredibly simple (but powerful!) habit, and ideas on how you can easily add this habit into your marriage.
(P.S. It’s one of five intentional habits to build your marriage. This is an amazing list of 5 simple habits that can change your marriage, step by step! You can download the whole list for free here.)
Ready to hear about our 15 minute habit that continually revitalizes our marriage (and can do the same for yours?)
Our Daily Marriage Habit That Pays Dividends
It’s 5:00 p.m., and from my kitchen window, I can see the sun is setting.
As the warm afternoon rays send a dreamy glow to the rural scenery outside, I hear my husband’s voice say one word from across the kitchen: “Ready?”
I turn to him, smile and say, “Yes.”
We each grab a small snack and walk outside to our backyard porch swing.
It has become our favorite place to spend our daily check-ins—those 15 minutes we spend everyday that keeps our friendship close and our marriage strong.
And while the kids and I also love to snuggle up and read stories before nap time here, I like to think that the swing is happiest when it’s holding my husband and I.
While I would love to tell you that all our conversations are deep and thought-provoking, that would simply not be true.
Most days they’re simple glimpses into everyday family life: daily reports about how the kids are doing in school, upcoming events for the week, frustrations with work… that sort of thing.
And other times we just collapse into the swing exhausted, its gentle swaying a soothing balm for two people who overcommit, make mistakes and need rest from a busy life.
Sometimes we dream—about places we want to travel to, things we want to do with the kids—or we spend time in prayer as we connect with our Heavenly Father.
But always we’re holding hands and staring into the distance. That to me is the best part of all.
The Best 15 Minute Investment In Our Marriage
We call this 15 minute investment in our marriage our “daily check in.”
And I can’t tell you how this simple daily habit continually makes a profound difference in our marriage!
(P.S. Want to learn 4 other easy habits to a stronger marriage? I’d love to share with you the secrets to a better marriage and to deeper emotional intimacy with your spouse! It’s easier than you think! Grab your free printable here.)
Why does our “daily check-in” make such a difference?
First, it reminds my husband and I to stop—to look around us and remember that that there’s a deeper foundation for the sometimes overwhelming chaos of daily family activities.
Our marriage is that core place where our family begins and ends. These daily check-ins remind us that if we don’t nurture this most critical aspect, our entire family structure will begin to break apart.
Second, it is an important release of the everyday emotions and thoughts swirling around inside us. I’m often the talker and my husband is the listener (it’s just that way since he’s a more introverted guy) and I often feel my stress melting away as we bounce ideas off each other and ground each other in biblical truth.
Together we work to untangle the complicated feelings that can easily lead our family decisions down the wrong path, and we strategize together as we look at the big-picture-goal of serving God as a family.
This Simple Commitment Can Bless Your Marriage Too
Our daily check-in isn’t always on our porch swing, of course (my husband travels, and somedays I have afternoon commitments with the kids), and it’s not always at 5:00 p.m.
And that’s my point. You don’t need a porch swing. And the time of day doesn’t matter.
You just need a commitment to make this daily connection happen.
Connect each day for at least 15 minutes in some way with your spouse, whether that’s driving together somewhere, chatting on FaceTime (if one of you is out of town), or even talking while making dinner together.
It’s a wonderful investment in your marriage that will keep your relationship vibrant and your friendship close.
Give it a try for several weeks and notice the changes!
Here’s a list of 4 other small shifts you can make for a healthier marriage. There’s even a FREE printable checklist so you can remind yourself daily. (I need visual reminders… how about you?!)
Do you have a daily check-in with your spouse?
If not, how could a 15-minute check in change your marriage for the better?
This week, I pray you’d begin the daily habit of these simple-but-powerful moments with your spouse! It’s a beautiful way to invest in your family and to grow closer as a couple!
And don’t forget to download the free printable! I want to encourage you in your marriage, and not only help you adopt this habit, but teach you about 4 other incredibly powerful habits that can transform a marriage!
You don’t want to miss this free teaching. It’s my gift to you!
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