How to Flirt with Your Husband (18 Fun & Easy Ways)

Ladies, after more than 16 years of marriage, I’ve learned that there’s a fine art to knowing how to flirt with your husband.

I mean, in the dating years, flirting with your man seemed so simple, right?

We smiled. A lot. We made lighthearted jokes. Quite a bit.

We assumed that flirting with our husband would always be easy.

But life changed once we were married, and certainly when we had kids. We got out of the routine and, suddenly, flirting became second to keeping up with the chaos of family life.

Now, as married couples, it seems like if we’re encouraged to flirt with our husband, it’s only as a prequel to sex.

But flirting–which is just really a way to keep your marriage fun–is so much more than just an invite to romance! And I want to help you recapture that vibrancy in your marriage by encouraging you with some great tips on how to flirt with your husband.

I believe flirting with your husband is the best way to keep friendship and fun the focus of your marriage! 

Check out these 18 fun and easy tips (plus lots of great resources and ideas) on how to flirt with your husband today!

You’ll love these 18 fun and EASY ways to bring the fun and flirting back to your marriage! SO MANY great resources and ideas here!

Flirting: It’s About More Than Sex

flirting with your husbandThere are plenty of ideas out there (like here and here) on how to flirt with your husband for a better sex life. 31 Days to Great Sex is also a good resource.

I’m all for having good sex. But honestly, flirting–like marriage–can be about so much more than just physical intimacy.

Flirting is about knowing what makes your spouse smile. What makes their day. What would be a help to them.

Discover that and you’ll feed the fire of sexual intimacy as an awesome extra!


What Does Flirting With Your Spouse Look Like?

We often think that flirting with a spouse has to mean bringing flowers, sending love notes and sexy lingerie. Sure those things are nice, but that doesn’t have to be all that flirting is. And flirtinflirt with your husbandg doesn’t have to be anything huge!

Here’s the real question:

What makes your husband feel loved? What are his love languages? What does he love about you?

And, alternatively, share with him what makes you feel loved!

Discover those things about each other, and find little ways to turn these into flirting moments!

I promise that it can be an easy and fun habit to work into your everyday relationship.

What If My Spouse Never Flirts With Me?

I totally hear you. We are busy, stressed people and marriage isn’t always about one big flirt-fest. My spouse also travels a bit, so flirting in person isn’t always a possibility.

You just do your part. Don’t worry about if he isn’t reciprocating right away, or if it isn’t equal. It may even be a sacrifice at first. That’s fine.

Just do one thing today. And then tomorrow, do another. If it’s difficult, ask God to renew your hearts and to rediscover this way to regularly show love. It’s an important way to strengthen your relationship!

18 Easy Ways to Flirt With Your Spouse Today

Every couple has different ways to flirt and show love to each other, but here are some of the ways my husband and I flirt.

1) Just-Between-You Jokes. You know the ones. When one of you says that phrase from that movie, it makes you laugh and giggle (and no one else knows why)!

2) A Smile. My hubby has this little grin. And when he shows me that authentic smile from across the room, my heart melts!

3) Special Outfit. I know there are certain outfits that he likes that I wear. And sometimes I “encourage” him to wear a certain shirt (because he looks really cute in it). It’s fun to wear something that you know your husband thinks you look great in it.

4) Do Chores for Each Other. No, really! When I was growing up, my mom had a refrigerator magnet that said, “I love a man with dishpan hands.” I never fully understood that until I had a sink of dirty dishes facing me every day! If my husband cleans up the kitchen unexpectedly, I am one happy wife.

5) Cologne. I really, really like it when my husband wears a certain cologne. I always joke with him, “You smell too good to leave this house.” Speaking of that…

6) Enjoy being sexual together. What is the best frequency for you as a couple? It’s not about comparing ourselves to other couples. Married sex is also not about lust, but about connection. It’s so easy to let making love slide as a priority, but my husband and I have found that regular times of making love bring much needed closeness and keep the spark alive between us.

P.S. Can I suggest these posts as places to get more perspective on the very sensitive (but so important) topic of married sex?

7) Write “Just Because” Texts. A “just thinking of you” text in the middle of the day is always awesome. Or even little things like letting the other one know you’re praying for them can go a long way.

8) Love notes. Love these little notes! Or even a post-it note works! Sometimes I put a quick love note in my husband’s suitcase if he’s traveling, or I put them on his desk in our home office. This post has lots of fun spins on the love note idea!

9) Spontaneous Physical Affection. Sometimes I stop to give my husband a hug while I’m making dinner. Or I’ll go into his office and give him a quick hug and kiss. Not anything that will lead to something huge, but just ways to keep the fire going.

10) Laugh! You’ve got to admit it–life is just darn funny sometimes. It seems like there’s always something extra crazy to laugh about going on at our house. We also have a handful of movies we watch from time to time that crack us up and keep us laughing.

11) Regular Chat Times. My love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. So flirting to me often equals 15 minutes alone with my spouse to talk about the day. And speaking of chatting…

12) Read the Bible Together. Each week, we try to spend several times together discussing God’s word and praying over our family. I shared about that here (and how to make couples devotions a regular habit–one without guilt!).

13) Holding hands.  We try to do this while watching a movie, walking into church, going on a hike, etc. With four kids around us, it’s not easy, but when we remember to do it, it’s a wonderful way to flirt. Here’s more resources on how to be more physically affectionate with your spouse.

14) Sit close to each other. We heard at a marriage conference once that our brains are affected on a chemical level when we simply holds hands with our spouse or somehow let our bodies touch. That’s amazing to me!

15) Massage. Sure, there can be dedicated times of couples massage (here are some great tips!) but everyday things like rubbing his neck while he’s driving are simple and easy ways to flirt with my husband!

16) Talk about it! Share ideas! Tell each other what you like!

17) Keep your relationship light and your friendship strong (check out this list of conversation starters for everyday marriage issues).

18) Regularly enjoy date nights and other fun times alone (here’s how we make it happen… even as busy parents of four kids!).


You’ll also love these 130 Ways to Say I Love You to Your Spouse!

Whoa—you won’t believe the sheer number of ideas in this resource! SO MANY great ways to EASILY show your husband or wife how much your love them! Every married person needs to read this… great jumpstart for any marriage!

Awesome Books to Build Your Marriage

Other Marriage Posts That Can Inspire Flirting

26 Ways Busy Parents Can Have More Date Nights


You know date nights can really strengthen your marriage. But how in the world do you make them happen? Discover the 6 most common reasons why couples don’t plan more date nights, and learn 26 amazingly creative ways to solve them! This post will give you the tools and ideas you need to REALISTICALLY add date nights as a regular part of your marriage! If you’ve been stumped about how to make date nights really happen, you’ve GOT to read this post!


Yes, Busy Couples CAN Have Time for Bible Study (Our 7 Tips)

You want to read the Bible with your spouse. But life is so darn busy! How in the world can it happen? These 7 tips (and 10 amazing devotional resources!) will make all the difference. Couples devotions aren't just for married couples without kids!


The Surprising Secret to Better Sex for Christians



Did this post encourage you in your marriage? Please pin and share it so that others can have stronger marriages too!

You’ll love these 18 fun and EASY ways to bring the fun and flirting back to your marriage! SO MANY great resources and ideas here!

About Alicia Michelle

As a wife and mom to four passionate kids, Alicia Michelle loves encouraging other moms with practical tips for joy-filled living in everyday life, especially in parenting, marriage, faith and health.Alicia is the owner/editor of Your Vibrant Family; the author of Plan to Be Flexible, The Back to School Survival Manual; and the creator/producer of the "7 Days to a Less Angry Mom Online Video Course,", Christ-Centered Christmas Resources and My Memory Box Organizing System. In addition, she is a monthly contributor for several popular family blogs, including her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.

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