How to Raise Godly, Confident Kids (11 Truths)

As Christian parents, we all want to raise confident kids, right?

Children who make godly choices when faced with peer pressure.

Kids who aren’t afraid to take life by the reigns and boldly pursue God’s plans for them.

On the surface, these seem like great parenting goals. Who doesn’t want to raise a child like this?

And yet, friends, I want to share with you that we must give our kids more. Way more. 

We must gift them with a godly confidence—an unshakeable, unchanging assurance—that is founded on a dependence on God.

As Christian parents, we want to raise confident kids who make the right choices. But is self-esteem the answer? This post may surprise you…

 

Perhaps it sounds counterproductive—wrong even—to teach our kids to become dependent on anything! After all, don’t we want to raise self-reliant kids?

No, teaching kids to find confidence inside themselves shouldn’t be the goal.

Instead, we want our kids self-worth to be determined not by their fleeting emotions (or the thoughts of those around them) but by the unchanging, deep riches of the Creator’s love for them.

And that kind of self-worth comes from daily dependence in God.

Imagine how different our world would be if we could teach our kids this kind of godly confidence! Wow.

Wouldn’t you love to develop this same godly confidence in your kids? It’s something that my husband and I continually—and imperfectly—seek to do (with God’s help).

My husband and I firmly believe that if our kids can grasp these 11 biblical truths they will become those joyful, intentional, confident kids that we long for them to become.

11 Truths to Teach Kids Godly Self-Confidence

Note: I’ve written each one from God’s perspective as if He were speaking to our kids directly.

Truth #1: My love for you lasts forever, and it’s because of this love that I’m always wanting to be close to you. (Jeremiah 31:3)

How awesome would it be if our kids were convinced–deep down in their soul–that they were continually being pursued by God’s love!

I believe that if our kids knew that they were wholly and eternally loved by their creator (and allowed that principle to guide their lives), they would set the world on fire for Him!

Truth #2: I know all of your thoughts and I know every part of you. Don’t be afraid to share your heart with me. (Psalm 139:1)

One of the enemy’s most insidious tactics is to tell our kids that they’ve made too many mistakes to be close to God. He wants to break down our kids’ confidence by somehow convincing them that they are irreparably flawed.

And yet, God tells us over and over in His word that He has perfectly formed us and that he knows every aspect of our lives (the good, the bad and the ugly). He is not afraid of our mistakes and in fact, wants us to share them with Him as means to grow closer!

Friends, we must teach our kids that depending on God–trusting Him to love us through all our fears and mistakes–is the key to authentic self-confidence.

Truth #3: You were handmade by me—perfectly crafted by my hands—and I call my creation of you “marvelous.” (Psalm 139:14)

Society has done an excellent job of portraying how we “should” look. What’s in, what’s out. What clothing size is the “right” one to be acceptable and loved. How our individual body parts should look in order to be “normal.”

Of course, as women, you and I know how destructive self-image issues can be to our self-confidence! So imagine how incredibly powerful it would be if our children could grow up knowing that they are perfectly crafted by an awesome creator?

Truth #4: Even when things are hard, let my deep love for you remind you that I will be there to help you through it. (Isaiah 43:2; Proverbs 3:5-6)

Our family is currently going through a difficult trial and, let me tell you, being able to depend on Christ through this challenging time is what has kept our family sane.

It would be easy for my husband and I to allow our confidence to be shaken and to allow the doubts to overwhelm us right now. I’m so grateful that God has proven over and over in my life that He is dependable and faithful! Right now, we are leaning fully on Him and have placed our confident hope in His promises.

Truth #5: I will never stop loving you, my child, and nothing can separate you from my love. (Psalm 136; Romans 8:31-39)

My daughter used to have frequent nightmares. I remember having them too as a child and thus often being afraid to go to sleep.

However, I’m so grateful that my daughter has learned that there’s nothing that can separate her from God’s love. For about a year now, she sleeps with her Bible and with Christian music playing in the background as a reminder that nothing evil can overcome her with Christ in her life.

We tell her that the enemy can try to threaten, but that she can stand strong and confident in God’s promise that He will never leave her and that His love is always with her. This has brought her much more peaceful sleep.

Truth #6: My love for you is not conditional. You can never earn my love—it is simply a gift I give to you. (Ephesians 1:4, 2:4-5)

So many relationships in our world are conditional–you do this for me, and I’ll do that for you. It’s not always a bad thing per se (for example, employers expect employees to work in exchange for pay).

However, it’s easy to let this mindset translate into our self-esteem: If we do certain things or act a certain way then we will be worthy of love.

And that’s why God’s love stands out so brightly! If our kids are convinced of the truth that they are loved regardless by God, they will be equipped with a powerful self-confidence that can change the world!

Truth #7: Stay connected to me and I promise to use you to produce good fruit in every season. (Psalm 1:1-3; John 15:4-8)

If we want to build godly, self-confident kids, teaching our kids the habit of a daily quiet time is perhaps the best habit we can give them! Jesus promises in John 15:4-8 that if we remain in Him like a vine stays connected to the branches then we can produce much fruit.

Life can be incredibly hard, and we need the power of God surging through us if we want to be triumphant through all circumstances. If we allow our circumstances to dictate our self-worth we will be left depleted and searching.

But if we stay close to Him–regularly reading the Bible and listening to His voice–then we can do amazing things for God. What a powerful truth to instill in our kids!

Truth #8: Because I love you and care about you, I want to replenish your soul when you are tired and give you strength to do more than you could hope or imagine. (Isaiah 40:28-31, Ephesians 3:20)

The world is full of tempting solutions to pain and overwhelm. It tries to provide physical comforts for the spiritual and emotional emptiness we sometimes experience.

But what if instead we taught our kids to look to Christ when they are tired? What if we demonstrated to them that they didn’t have to do it on their own but that God was always there to strengthen and replenish them? Knowing that Christ is the fuel behind our strength is a powerful self-confidence builder for anyone, especially children.

Truth #9: Don’t worry about what others think. Choose to let my voice guide you over the roar of the crowd. My truths will bring you the rich, full life that you’re looking for. (Proverbs 4:5-22; John 10:1-10)

We live in a world that is continually shouting for our attention. Without the guide of authentic truth found in God it is so easy to allow other’s opinions and worldly pressures to dictate our choices!

Our kids need to learn how to drown out all those voices and focus solely on the “voice of the shepherd” as described in John 10:1-10. When our children can learn to hear and obey the still, loving voice of God, they can much more easily develop godly confidence and discover their true purpose. They can eschew peer pressure and stand strong in godly truth.

Truth #10: Should you make a mistake, be quick to tell me about it so that nothing comes between us in our relationship. (Psalm 32:3-5). Remember, I love you as-is and at all times.  (Hosea 2:14-23)

Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and fallen short of God’s glorious standard. We must recognize that all of us–even those straight-as-an-arrow kids–sometimes make huge mistakes that separate us from God.

My husband and I are doing our best to teach our kids that confession is an important part of keeping our relationship with God pure. We share with them that sin separates, but that we don’t have to live in debilitating shame because of it. God made a way for us to stay confidently connected with Him despite our failures and that’s through a real relationship with Him.

How empowering it is to know that we are loved fully and completely–despite our mistakes!

Truth #11: I love to bring new life out of the sin or difficulties in your life. Let me use them to give you a testimony of my love for others too! (2 Corinthians 1:3-7)

Last, we want to teach our kids that everything in their lives is meant to be used by God. Every trial and every tear has a purpose. Every comfort He gives through difficult times can be used to teach us how to comfort others through their own difficulties (2 Corinthians 1:3-7; 2 Corinthians 4:7-10).

We can boldly seek God in all circumstances–even when things don’t make sense on the surface–because we know that God is the great recycler. He transforms our darkest moments into glorious masterpieces that shine brightly for Him in a dark world.

Just knowing this simple truth can give our kids incredible self-confidence at all times!

3 Principles for Raising Godly, Self-Confident Kids

Of course there’s so much work that goes into pouring these truths into our children! Teaching kids godly self-confidence requires more than just taking them to church. It is a daily layering–bit-by-bit–of these 11 core biblical ideas in their heart.

I don’t want to simplify the process down into a simple to-do list because first, each child is different; second, raising godly confident kids is a divine task that requires the Holy Spirit’s divine work; and third, there are no guarantees in raising children!

However, I do want to give you three good practices for raising godly, self-confident kids:

1) Give them a love of God and his word.

Share with them early and often about God’s amazing truths found in the Bible. When they ask tough questions, dive together into God’s word for the answers. Show them how to find comfort in Scripture when life is challenging.

We currently use these books and Bibles to teach our kids to love God’s word:


2) Teach them at a young age how to have a daily quiet time with God.

My husband and I have taught our kids a simple method for not just reading the Bible but deeply understanding God’s truth. It’s called the “5Rs Method” and it’s something I developed because I wanted an easy, transferable way for my kids (and me) to apply scriptural principles to daily life.

Go here to learn how to do the 5Rs Method.

3) Model what it looks like to have authentic faith in Christ.

Let them see you reading your Bible and praying through every life season.

Don’t be afraid to share with your kids what you struggle with and to share your mistakes! Our kids need to know that faith can be messy.

May teaching these truths to your kids assure them of God’s great love and impart a beautiful, godly self-confidence that can never be taken away!

I’m praying for you as we labor together to encourage kids who are dependent on God for their self-confidence!

 

Other Posts on Teaching Kids about God:

 

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About Alicia Michelle

As a wife and mom to four passionate kids, Alicia Michelle loves encouraging other moms with practical tips for joy-filled living in everyday life, especially in parenting, marriage, faith and health.Alicia is the owner/editor of Your Vibrant Family; the author of Plan to Be Flexible, The Back to School Survival Manual; and the creator/producer of the "7 Days to a Less Angry Mom Online Video Course,", Christ-Centered Christmas Resources and My Memory Box Organizing System. In addition, she is a monthly contributor for several popular family blogs, including Crosswalk.com.Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.

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